Totally did not get into Amazon's writing contest. Well, there's always the other thousands of people like me. This only means you're not reading this. Of course, that won't do much to stop me from telling you how it is. It is always easier to tell you how it is when you are not listening, always!
you're a big, dumb, moronic schlub who would be lucky to have half-a-clue before dying of wretchedness.
See. That is way, way easier to say when no one is listening. There is no consequence if there is no audience.
So if you read this, forget that you ever did.